Lovely Miami—OR—Pigs on Wheels

I happened upon a pornographic website while surfing randomly one bored afternoon, that is published out of Miami, Florida. I won't say the name of the website because I don't want to give them publicity they do not deserve.

Basically, a couple of males with a video camera drive around in a 30 year old van (looks like something out of a condemned inner city housing project), to pick up ordinary young women, promising to simply "interview" them; in the end, of course, it is no such thing and they always end by somehow convincing these "ordinary" women to take off their clothes for money, to give oral sex or copulate with some guy, then, using one pretext or another, "trick" them into stepping out of their dog-haired van and then speed off leaving them in the lurch, and without the money promised to them.

The truth is, none of these "ordinary" women are ordinary, everyday women, at all; they are—you guessed it—Miami hookers paid to act out a farce. Face it, what "ordinary" woman do you know who would get into a housing project van with any stranger? Worse, the guys driving the van are a pair of cretin-like greaseballs who look and sound like 8th grade dropouts who denigrate not only the women they photograph, but each other—a real-time example of how low self-esteem festers and self-perpetuates.

The website allows free viewing of a few seconds of out-takes from some of these videos as an inducement to plunk down your hard earned cash for something more serious—like an annual subscription.

I would like to say here, that there is NOTHING remotely erotic or seductive about the sexual acts exploited therein. To begin with, these are "actresses" (more about that later) performing their roles as scripted. Everything about the videos is seedy and tasteless and reveals more about the producers of the website than it does about sex acts. In fact, I was more interested in banter between the employees before and after sets, than anything that took place during the sex acts. The employees rip each other's looks, sexual prowess, intelligence, and even—believe it—for being stupid enough to work for THEM! Stupid, indeed.

The perpetrators of this website advertise themselves as three men with a collective IQ of 103. Though I am sure this statement was made to be funny, because they clearly believe themselves to be slick, the truth hits closer to the mark than their two IQ points comprehend. Every once in awhile, the camera man is caught in a reflection from the side view mirror or elsewhere; he is a white male with a sloping forehead and low hairline—a greaseball who is a prehistoric throwback to man's neanderthal beginnings.

One must ask oneself how an individual becomes the "dregs of society." I mean, did GreaseBall #1 watch Mama shagging johns on the kitchen table for quarters while Daddy pimped on street corners for more? Parents in the academic sense, only, clearly. Who WAS mommy and daddy, after all, Joey and Mary Jo Buttafuoco?

The women who are exploited on these videos, are the ones I truly pity. They are examples of the depths to which self-loathing can afflict one's life and, again, I must ask myself, what road lead to this end?

Prostitutes, today, do not refer to themselves as such. Nowadays, they call themselves "models," or "actresses." I once knew an executive of a very important Chicago concern who needed women in his life and had no qualm about marrying. For whatever reason, however, he could not keep them for more than a few years before they were ready to move on, and already had 7 marriages under his belt by the time I knew him. He was a gentleman and not the type to pick up prostitutes, but I roared with laughter when told that his latest girlfriend was a woman he had met at the bar of a large, fancy hotel downtown, who was "an actress." In the end, of course, it turned out she was nothing more than a hooker, and not the type of woman he wanted to bring home to meet Mama.

In several episodes males, puportedly boyfriends of the females "tricked" into this scenario, reveal to the camera that coercion into joining this video taping session was "payback" for something the female previously did to them. Any male who would sink this low, is a man in name only—if they do, in fact, possess male genitalia, they may, more accurately, be called males but certainly NOT men! It takes more than a tail between one's legs to qualify for the title of "man"—otherwise, even dogs and rats qualify by definition. Come on, Ladies, the world is FULL of NICE men—gentlemen, even—take the time to look around and ditch the dirt bags, kick 'em to the curb. You CAN do better!

To all of the beautiful young women out there, I have this message for you: there are many more satisfying and useful things you can do with your lives without degrading and defiling yourself for the amusement of low-lifes with flea-sized brain cases. All you have to do is look around and ask; if assistance is needed, it's there for those who want it. Don't allow yourselves to be sucked into building mansions of manure for Dung Beetles.

If I were a parent or grandparent of a young teenager, these videos would terrify me. I would REFUSE to allow any child under my guardianship to enter Miami, Florida without a 24-hour guard around them. NOT a very good public relations piece, Miami. Really!

One final thought. The only "real," unscripted portions of these videos are of innocent passersby pursuing their lives while the GreaseBall triplets cruise the Miami streets. These are probably the most entertaining moments on these videos where you are permitted (God knows why they do not edit them out) to see what real life, ordinary, women really think of GreaseBalls-in-a-Housing-Project-Van; most turn on their heels and race off, or, responding to questions like, "Would you like to get in the van?" retort with epithets like, "Not with YOU, Creep," or, as in one case, when a very assertive young woman simply flipped them the bird. THAT is what true, ordinary, Miami citizens think of dirt bags in vans, Sir.